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Rude Awakening

This past President’s Day I awoke fairly early for a non-work day – 7:00 AM. Sunlight was peaking through the curtains in my bedroom so I laid in bed for a few minutes trying to fully wake up before I would shuffle to the kitchen to start brewing my morning coffee. The sound of my phone receiving a text message 15 minutes later made me fully awake. It was a message from my “little” sister Kath, who firmly believes it is never too early in the day for hostility. I tried to gird my loins as best as I could for what I knew would surely be the beginning of yet another onslaught of accusations, demands, insults and insanity in general.
Kath: Do you have today off for the holiday? I do
Me: Yes girl I do
Kath: Why did your text just reply with your email address and separately from the text I sent you? Isn’t it a bit early for your to be up if you’re not working?
Me: I woke up right before you texted me. I went to bed at 11 so I got my eight hours of sleep. I didn’t know my text was an email. I am just replying in the body of the text you sent me.
Kath: Yeah it doesn’t say GREG at the top it says GLewis etc.
Me: Wierd
Kath: It was so cold the last two days my car didn’t start yesterday. You spelled “weird” wrong!
Me: Oh God! And what’s the temperature?
Kath: What are you going to do today? It’s supposed to be 29 but it’s 10 right now. You’re going to be 80s or 90 which is out of the norm to.
Me: Laundry, gym, clean my bedroom, do some writing and finish one of the books i am reading
Kath: Why don’t you clean the kitchen while you’re at it?
Me: How do you know it’s dirty? Maybe I cleaned it already!
Kath: I doubt it. So did you? If you cleaned it the way you “cleaned” your bathroom before I came then it really does still need to be cleaned
Me: YOU’RE INSANE!
Kath: You didn’t answer the question
Me: Bite Me! I cleaned it already
Kath: Bite yourself and then go clean your kitchen. Haha!